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Lead Your Wife, Then Lead Your Life

Leading your marriage will prove to be the most important and the most difficult to lead, but it lays a foundation which will transcend into the rest of your personal and professional life. The basis of all leadership is relationship and the most difficult and the most rewarding relationship you will ever have will be with your wife or husband. There are lessons learned in the midst of a marriage relationship which will make you into a well rounded leader in all areas of your life.

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Here are three tips about leading in a marriage, all of which I am still learning to apply myself.

1) It is not about you. We have all heard this phrase to the point that it's meaning has been lost. But the fact remains that marriage is a commitment which you make before God and friends that you will serve and honor your spouse in sickness, health, richer, poorer, till death. Serving and honor is not conditional. It does not mean that you will reciprocate if your spouse serves and honors you first. It means you will serve and honor even if your spouse does not serve and honor you. An old pastor of mine named Bob Beckwich us to say marriage was not a 50/50 partnership, meaning you do not give 50% of yourself to your spouse and wait for your spouse to give the other 50%. In a marriage you give yourself 100% to your spouse and they give themselves 100% to you, no matter what. The same is true in leadership, if you only give 50% effort to leading others, they will notice your lack of sincereness, commitment, attentiveness, and care and your influence in their lives will diminish.

2) It is hard. No one has ever said marriage was easy. Why do you think so many people are getting divorced? It is sad that so many people are giving up when the marriage gets tough. It requires work, it requires compromise, it requires communication, it requires time and effort. In marriage and leadership there will be suffering, but if you strive to work through this suffering, the result is perseverance which produces unwavering character. This persevering, unwavering character allows you to see the big picture instead of the acute suffering of the here and now. A hope is birthed within you for a brighter tomorrow because you know the sufferings of today can be changed and will not remain forever. You can take control of your marriage and your leadership, but the decision starts with you.

3) It is rewarding. When you work hard to make your marriage flourish, it impacts every area of your life. Do not fool yourself into believing that your career will satisfy you, or your hobby or sports or shopping. These things are fleeting and will change, but you marriage is for life. If your marriage takes precedence over these things and you actively work to cultivate it, the rewards will be greater than you can imagine. The blessings of having your spouse beside you and support you no matter what makes everything else seem small in comparison. Leadership is also rewarding because you will see the result of your effort in the leadership development of others, the unity of a team or the growth of an organization.

The bottom line weather in marriage or leadership is: do not be selfish, put in the work, and remember the goal.

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Posted in Other Home Post Date 09/19/2016


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